BAD IDEAS IN HIP-HOP: Ron Artest's Tribute to Michael Jackson.

I swear, this dude's heart is in the right place, but....well, let's just say sometimes his execution is shaky. To say the least. The latest Los Angeles Laker, Ron Artest, decided to record a tribute song to the late great King of Pop, Michael Jackson. Unfortunately, Artest is insane. Like I said, I'm sure the dude means well, but come on, this is just bad.

The lowlights include the lines:

-"Michael, Michael, Micahel, you my nigga" (which happens to be the hook)
-"I know a thug wil cry for you, my dude. No R&B singer really make me cry, make me want to meet you...touch your hand"
-"You used to show me love. I know you didn't know me, but you showed me love."
-"Get off my nigga's back, all his music was straight crack"
-"I know you in heaven, I hope to see you next year." (Whaaaaat?)
-"He's my dude, he's your dude, he's a really tight dude."

and my personal favorite...

"Even though I'm always strapped, I'm putting down my Mac for Mike Jack. He's so wavy."

But don't take my word for it, listen for yourself:

[DOWNLOAD] Ron Artest - "Michael, Michael"

Wow. That was a really bad idea in hip hop, Ron Artest.

BAD IDEAS IN HIP-HOP: K.O.B.E.

After winning his 4th NBA Championship and a Finals MVP, Kobe Bryant just cemented his legacy as one of the greatest basketball players of all time. Too bad he might be one of the worst rappers ever. Back in 1999, Kobe released a rap single called "K.O.B.E." (below) in which he raps about "basketball, beats, and broads" as well as typical rapperish things like how much money he has and how nice his Mercedes is. Ironically, it's actually believable as opposed to 90% of these fake rich rappers out. Despite that validity of what he's saying, it comes off as corny, forced, and contrived. Especially when he goes into "playboy" mode, talking about all the women chasing him. Please. He riddles off clique after clique in attempt to....actually, I don't know what the hell he was attempting to do.

But that's not the worst part. The worst part is that he got Trya Banks to sing the hook. Yes, that Tyra Banks. The one who has no singing background whatsoever. These are the exact words that she sings on the hook:

K-O-B-E, I L-O-V-E you
I believe you are very fine
If you give me one chance, I promise to love you
And be with you forever more

It's painful. it's hilarious. It was a bad idea. Kobe, you're not a rapper. Stick to what you're good at - being the best basketball on the planet (sorry Lebron).

Listen to the song here...

BAD IDEAS IN HIP-HOP: Claiming J Dilla Executive Produced Your Album.

In this week's version of BAD IDEAS IN HIP-HOP (our newest Tuesday segment), we explore the stupidity that is Charles Hamilton. In case you were sleeping all day yesterday, or don't have a Twitter account, Interscope signee Charles Hamilton just released details on his debut, This Perfect Life on his blog, and for some retarded reason, he gave an executive producer credit to late great Detroit producer, James Yancey a.k.a. J Dilla.




Oh word? Dilla worked with Charles Hamilton? Hellllll Nooooooo. Charles, who has never met, seen, spoken to, or even been in the same room as Dilla, explained the reason he did this on his blog:

I also wanna thank James Yancey for his guidance in putting this album together. Sound wise, I couldn't be happier. Again, the album was mastered reel-to-reel/digital-to-digital, and I couldn't have done the entire process without him being a total jerk about me getting that EXTRA vinyl-ish sound. Thanks Dilla.

Nah seriously. He helped master the album.

Wow. So, obviously word spreads fast on these here internets, and some well-known Detroit cats didn't take too kindly to this bold ass statement. In fact, it pretty much started a Twitter shit storm. A Shwitter Storm if you will. Some people very close to Dilla (a.k.a. his real life friends who actually knew him) said that (a) Dilla didn't know who the fuck Charles Hamilton was, and (b) he would never put his name on such garbage music. So people started to see this as a (very) cheap marketing ploy to gain more attention for his album and to ultimately sell more records. I mean, who wouldn't check out something that was apparently co-signed by one of the greatest producers of all time?

So Chuckie tried to flip the script and claim that he was going to donate proceeds from the album to the "J Dilla Music Foundation" which, well....doesn't fucking exist. He also claimed that he was close with the Yancey family and had some sort of deal with Dilla's mother, Maureen Yancey a.k.a. Ma Dukes. Well, that was another total fucking lie. DJ Houseshoes, who was Dilla's personal DJ, friend, and ambassador to Detroit, called Ma Dukes personally to clear the air, and yep...you guess it...she said had never heard of any Charles Hamilton. Now the entire Detroit hip-hop scene is on a mission to personally tear down Charles Hamilton's reputation and what's left of his career.



And it's working. Charles has become the laughing stock of the hip-hop culture and real hip-hop heads everywhere. He's a big fucking joke who wears only pink and loves Sonic The Hedgehog. He has a big ego and a bigger mouth, and it's started to catch up to him. Even his girl wanted to kick his ass. He doesn't get it. Anyone who has any sense would never tie a legend's name to their project without proper consent. Especially when that legend has been laid to rest. What you did was disrespectful, contrived, and out of line. You got called out, and then tried to lie about it to make yourself look better, and then you got caught again. Now need to take your ass beating like a man. Charles Hamilton, you are an idiot, a moron, an idiotic moron, and a dumbfuck. And you had another bad idea in Hip-hop.

Until next Tuesday, ya'll...oh, and please don't buy this goomba's album.

BAD IDEAS IN HIP-HOP: Spencer Pratt.

Alright, so I've been trying to have a different segment for every day of the week. Miss Monday, Westcoast Wednesday, Throwback Thursday, and Forgotten Friday. Well, Tuesday was the only day that eluded me. It's been bothering me for months. Anyway, I got sent this video this morning and almost fell the fuck out my chair. It's horrible. It's hilarious. It's so bad that it's almost good. So it got me thinking about how bad of an idea this, and then BOOM it hit me. Every Tuesday I'm gonna highlight a different BAD IDEA IN HIP-HOP. I'll present it to you, and then we can all laugh at how ridiculous it is, and then go bump some Wu-Tang or something. It'll be fun.

So we set it off with reality TV star douche-bag, Spencer Pratt, and his debut rap video "I'm a Celebrity." I guess this is the theme song for his new reality show. It looks like an Animal Planet commercial to me. I mean, he's rapping to an iguana. While dressed like he's gong on a jungle cruise. Hey Spencer, David Hasslehoff called and he wants his safari outfit back. What I can't figure out about this song is this: Is this kid serious? Or is he completely fucking with us and laughing all the way to the bank? And What's worse? I don't know, but I do know this is a horribly bad idea.

DISCLAIMER: Spencer Pratt is NOT Hip-Hop. He is just trying to be Hip Hop. I will claim him to be such, this is for fun.